[Dbl O]

I really enjoyed and had a big time with these 2 girls at dbl o, tho it was the CRAZIEST night i'd ever had.
i'm really drunk and the only thing i knw, i'd many candid photo sessions with strangers.
when i was sitting in the toilet alone, someone stuff sweet into my mouth.
and the funniest thing was, we talk with 2 thai gals and 1 of them tot zzzwww and me r tgt.
and zw keep convincing her that she is straight.. and do the hand action- straight.... straight....lmao!
we had 1 jug of gin tonic,tequilla pop,flaming lambo,and add on a few more glass of free flow vodka red bull and screw driver.
all that makes me almost lost consious.
thanks zw for getting getting hot water for me, and nana for carrying my weight.
but nana, in return i suffer more than you cos i take care of you in the cab remember?
i help you wipe your face and hair.
ya know why??



what happened?



uh.






hahahaha!!!




cos *someone had became a merlion in the cab and i got it on my shirt.
alright i'm not gonna complain cos someone is worst, she got it on her whole face and hair so i'm not gonna complain.hah!



ZZZWWW! YOU ARE THE HERO THAT NIGHT!

stick-->stick-->stick

i need you nana!

[i have bad luck]

-macbook (hard disk) totally cannot on, luckily it's still under warranty but i have to go down all the way to amk for servicing!

-cpu (motherboard and power supply)

-router (ethernet cable) always disconnect from internet and sometimes suprised me with extremely slow internet connection speed.

-cellphone (sim card) always can't call out/in. can't receive sms on time, send sms have to resend over 5 times!

besides that, those ppl around me will also be affected somehow.
hy meet me that day then they next day she lost her wallet and 100 bucks
after talking to my dad they next day his 200 plus juicer spoil


i can't stand it!!!!
no one will ever have sucha rot luck
ALL the essential things spoiled
everything spoiled at the same sec.
makes me go crazy!

now i got my internet back
which i dunno how did i solved it.
it becomes so precious to me
even when i shut down com i'll do it *gently
click and type carefully.

so what did i do on those days when i can't use internet and phone.
-i dashed around the house with my dogs.
-buy series of vcds to watch
-try to do 50 sit ups but stop at 5
-open the fridge 10 times a day when i knw theres no food in it
-imitate my dog bark when theres strangers passing by
-skate inside my house and force my dog to learn how to skate
-play linkin park cd on high volume

bad luck please go away......
if u buy toto or 4d pls dun touch me ;)

warf ... arf.... awuuuu........

[HOT!]

hy's HOT RAMEN!!

hot lips

i stuff everything inside and eat at one go so it won't be too hot compare to eat slowly and bit by bit.
Am i smart?!

Went shopping with hy and her gf..
i planned to have my 1st meal after meeting them but they are sucha big bully. they doesnt care about my hunger at all and continue to shop. wth... luckily hy is good enough cos she feed me hotdog and some mashed potato.
den we decided to eat at some japanese restaurant, which zzzwww told us its korean.
all of us ordered floats and 3 of us ordered different spice level. hy ordered noodles with 3 chilli icon on the menu. i'm 2 chilli and zzzwww zero.
the noodles damn hot! hawwwtt! as i'm eating i feel like swearing i'm sweating and my lips were as if on fire.. * ting ting ting. KO!



my birthday is over i'm 20 now and what have i achieved? nothing.
i dun go to sch. i quit and change school so many times.
dad you don't even care? all you do is jus keep paying for my school fees..
can you scold me? so that i can wake up?
i don't want to be a spoiled brat! i want to achieve something on my own but its so difficult cos i don't have anything to worry about.
i don't know why im the only wierd one in the family.
i have already made up my mind.
since nobody and nothing else can tie me down.
i'm gonna use bond to tie me.


chinese new year is coming.
what is cny? and what is new clothes and house visiting?
cos i don't celebrate cny.
my family.. where are they? who are they? are they all dead?

[when will it end?]

After i swallowed bottles of cough syrup, and whole lot of pills.

i can't control my body no more

my body keep shaking and jerking due to drug overdose.

why do u even care to snatch all the drugs away from me.

i know in your heart u are mocking and laughing at me.

YOU F. Bitch!

Just get hell out of my life!

you are worse than my step mom.

you tried to save me, by throwing away those pills

but you hesitate to save me later

here i lay crying,

with my open arms to embrace death.

and i already know suicide is the only way,

i want out of this world

Perhaps i will die today.

i hold my breath and slashed my wrist deeply

the blood drips, blood draining from me,

i slice my paper thin flesh again and again.

to make sure it's the end for me.

crimson blood pools on my feet,

it drips down my body,

covering the floor like a sheet.

the pains overwhelming,

but no matter how painful it seems to be

i am sure, it doesn't hurt that much u hurt me

i know u r feeling happy

because i'm getting rid of myself for u.

so u dun have to commit any murder

for her life will be so much happier without me.

The room begins to spin,

i fall on my knees, i know im gonna win.

my vision blurs before me

i'm losing consciousness

i'm going to die wait and see.

my heart slow its beat,

and i passed out slowly.

i do not know what awaits me at the end.

will there be a void?

or will i come face to face with God.

but when i open my eyes

it's hell again.

.

This is my 2nd attempted suicides and it's also the worse.

i attempted suicide.

i failed....

i don't know should i be blissful or disappointed.

For now, i just live my life to the fullest

because somehow, i feel its not gonna be long

next time, i'll make sure its a success 

because when it fails

it will be 3X worse!!

Dear mom and dad,

FUCK YOU.

[performance game rig or should i go mid?]

These few days have been doing nothing, just plain bored.
Therefore, i need some gaming rig to occupy my time.
I pick up my courage to talk to my dad and within just 10 mins of persuading, he agreed and i'll build my gaming rig real soon!
i can't believe it... and i can't wait! hahaha!
i wanna play dota, call of duty 4 and CNC3!

for my old com i actually wanna LAN it. but my bro keep asking me many times what are you gonna do with the old one???
aiya, i know he wants it. ask until so obvious...........
so i'm now thinking of what deal to make with him. hur hur hur.



nahz jus kiddin! i'd decided to give him foc. he dont need to tidy up my room or help me buy lunch LOL.

anw, these are the specs i intended to get

OS: Windows XP PRO (r u wondering why i'm not getting Vista? tt's bcos XP is better for gaming)
MOBO: MSI P35 Neo-3
CPU: Intel Core 2 Duo (i prefer intel more than AMD cos i think AMD is more heaty)
RAM: 2X 1GB DDR2
graphic card: XFX GeForce 8600GT 256MB
sound card: Creative Sound Blaster X-Fi xtreme music
PSU: 650W
HDD SATA2: 320GB
Fans: 4 80mm blue LED fans
1 120mm LED fan with temp and rpm display
cooler: Thermaltake BigWater 735 12cm liquid cooling system
DVD writer: 20x (any brand)
chassis: prefer Lian Li or Thermaltake (i can accept any other nice black polished with large side windows)




Accessories (got tight budget so will get later and slowly. meanwhile, gotta bear with the old one first. Urgh!)

keyboard : Logitech G15 with LED lights and LCD display
mouse pad: any brand with LED lights
mice: Razor Diamond Black 1600 DPI


These are the rough specs i'm getting. might change my mind on some components.
you give me some comment about the specs i choose and give me your suggestions :)


don't worry, when everything is fixed, i'll let y'all see how my new game rig gonna look like in photos/vid.

it's just in time for my bday gift! haha... yay!

[thank you and sorry is the hardest word to say]

Thanks and i am sorry im just so not worthy for u right now! until i make it right den i'll see u. P.S i still love u.

[to you]

i honestly am sick and tired of everything.
my life goes haywire ever since something happened to me
it got even worse when i decided to quit school.
and it makes me feel worse!

i always bottled up everything and i don't wish to share and don't like to share
cos all i got were all the same thing, i heard it all and i've known long before.
the point is do i know what i really want?
i just want to rest now and you say i don't deserve a rest.
i know whatever things i do, is wrong to you.
i know if i try to tell you i want and how i feel, you will lecture me once again
and say whatever you think and feel is right.
i don't like to live my life like you.
i have the freedom of my life. i also have to the freedom to kill myself and make myself wasted so much.
cos this is my life.
we are too different. you have very inflexible and traditional thinking. while i always thinking otherwise. can you please don't force me to be someone that i'm not and accept me for who i am.
i feel stress going out with you. every action and words i speak. i will get analyse by you and is like hundred arrows getting ready to be shoot at me just when i've finished sharing with you the arrows will all at once shoot straight at me.
i know you have very high expectation.
and both of you have the standard and both of you are doing very well and everything seems perfect for you.
All i can say is good for you.
maybe i have always been a 3rd party.
both of you may say how fuck up my life is and keep finding ways to point at me.
i know you have already give me up and i am glad you did.
i don't know if i'm a weirdo, cos nobody thinks the way i think, nobody eats the way i eat.


I HAVE A FCUK UP LIFE.I AM TO BLAME. and BLAME NO ONE.
I'M SEEKING THE EASY WAY OUT

if you are seeking for me to say all these. i'll say to make you feel happier.
no point keep questioning me. cos all u just want me to admit i am BAD.

I AM BAD I AM LAZY I WAN A EASY WAY OUT I AM WASTED I AM A BAMF!!!

i tell you my plans but all you say is how i'm gonna fail.
not what happened if i made it through.
oh ya, i think you are right. damn right that im not gonna make it.
are you glad now that you have guessed it correctly?

i think i'm not even fit to be your friend.
previously, i'm still schooling and maybe that makes me your friend.
but now , look at me,oh gosh. i'm 'currently' not schooling and haven't found a job yet.
don't worry i will not appear cos i knw you will frowned at me and condemn me all the time.
you can also throw away the card.
one day, if i made it den i'll ask you have i reach the standard to be your friend?
i know when you read this sentence you already think i'll not make it for sure.


lastly, thanks for all the memories
and im hurt
goodbye..

[Sisters Foreverrr]

hweeying(bongbong), belina(ahzhu), hongwee(wherewhere), pehyen(tpy), layshan(carrot), zhenwan(zzzwww/mysticalzz)-whahahaha!! and me!
hey gals, really really had great day with y'all today,this is will be my first happiest day in 2008. LOVESS!




everyone looking at the wrong direction

thia hong wee,wherewhere. stop complaining that theres only half of ur face! hahaha!


cheerful

again again...

carrot singh

bongbong singh

ZHU kiat mun

belina's fuck face

where is zzzwww??

then i realised carrot i snapping at me

wth r u doin miss carrot?



pool sucker!!

[Seoul Garden with colleagues]

Today went to play pool with kelly and anna and cineleisure. Anna is a pro.
After that we went to Taka for steamboat dinner. we manage to finish up everything we don't waste food you see =)
The whole time i keep eating A LOT of black pepper beef, muffins and sushis and nth else i got no interest in other food
While Alice ate a lot of crab sticks and we paid like 25. what's wrong with her?

Kelly and me





cook

heres for you. for her. for me. thank you.

these r e three things i keep eating for 2 hr plus non-stop.


i scream!! for ice-cream!!!

Celest and me

ice-cream feeding

celest and me again.

squeezeeeee look at wad they did to me...

[swallow-outline]

This is the outline i did today. It's friggin pain! esp on the collar bone.. i'd never say tattoo is painful. But for tis i'll say Paiinnnnnnn!!!!! shitt there is still another shading session to go.more PAIN to come! Urgh! This is also the first time i see bruises. Can you see bruises around my shoulder? :(

[sentosa]

[the most wasted day so far]

i meet zzzww after i've up at 2pm we went down to mango and collect our reservations after cash in i rem i forgot to get 10% from them! god damn it! saw rozita and yvonne at far east we are so fated to see them there! we eat tgt and rozita also very fast calculate for me my lost. it's $12!!! $12 can buy marlboro or eat a meal or a budget tshirt or cab fare home after clubbing! gosh i was so regret the whole day. we shop in town and i'm so tempted to buy so many things but can't spend the money cos just in case we got the urge to club tonight. den veron came didnt see her for quite some time and she is still as chorlor as before! always beat me... i say she is more man than me. haha! we stoned ard far east and can't decide whether to go home or mos in the end we went. we went to arena drank hell lot of vodkas and martinis.

we got so wasted. this is the first time i got so wasted. i guess for sheryl too. we walk ard clark quay drunked and talked to strangers. walk left and right. keep laughing. and LAUGHING in the toilet until we fell down and cant get up we tried to help each other up but cant. after sometime we finally manage to get up and walk out of the toilet. we went to the dance floor and ppl ask us are we alright and when im in mos toilet strangers came talk to me again. and i cant rem anything when i woke up.
den i cant take it anymore we cab home midway i ask the taxi driver to stop and i get out and vomit on the expressway! this is really the first time i got so wasted....i tell you when 2 drinking khakis is out is equal to gone case. and i are so afraid to let hwee ying know. surely die. i hope she don't read my blog pls.... !

she is drunk and i am damn motherfucking drunk tt's explain the quality of the photo :P
heres another 1... funny righttt? hah!

[happy 2008!!]

i went to holland village to meet my sisters and whole lot of other peeps that i've never met them before. i drink drank drunk, then i share cab wit carrot and wherewhere. we suddenly got so emotional in the cab and started pouring out our sadness in us. and we like stuck in the jam and damn fed up with it and the cab driver. i don't know why he send us to the carpark and we have to walk up the slope and we have to like walk up that bloody slope while we're a bit high. i accompanied carrot for her hubby to arrived it was so windy haha! so whenever the winds come, we will say wow it's so windy huh.. wit those small drunk eyes and drunk tone. we waited for quite sometime and blowing the strong wind wenxi finally arrived so i walk to esplanade to meet sje ting. wanted to go rachel place but can't get any cab at all we waited for merely 3 hrs for cab. in the end we gave up. we walk to penin 7-11 to buy wadever things we need at that moment. and then we waited outside city hall station for the first train. i crapped the whole night with sjeting and she is very nice cos she can carry on with me and i'd a fun time bullying her. hah!


sparkles at holland village at 12 00 am.


sistas...







issac,sjeting and ziqiang waiting for cab- in the end they got up cos they saw a huge vehicle from far LOL


me and sjeting- the first shot

we say not nice and here is the second shot. its better isnt it? YES! Sweeeeet!